Too late have I loved you!

Listening to the Spirit

Too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient, O Beauty so new.
Too late have I loved you! You were within me but I was outside myself, and there I sought you!
In my weakness, I ran after the beauty of the things you have made.
You were with me, and I was not with you.
The things you have made kept me from you – the things which would have no being unless they existed in you!
You have called, you have cried, and you have pierced my deafness.
You have radiated forth, you have shined out brightly, and you have dispelled my blindness.
You have sent forth your fragrance, and I have breathed it in, and I long for you.
I have tasted you, and I hunger and thirst for you.
You have touched me, and I ardently desire your peace.

Listening to the Word

Luke 5:1-11

Once while Jesuswas standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.’ When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’ When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.

Reflection

Recently our community invited a lay Filipino catholic who works in Indonesia for more than thirty years. He is a member of lay group in the Philippines, known as Light of Jesus Family and The Feast community. When he was still young, he worked hard to earn more money. In fact, when he was in Indonesia, he had already a stable job until one day he joined a seminar and the voice within him leading him to take another direction. He described this Experience as “Damascus Event” when he received the Light of Christ. For many years he works “fulltime” to bring the Light of Christ to many people. There was a moment when with a little “regret” he said to God, “Lord, why only now you call me? Why you didn’t call me when I was still young. I could do more for your glory.” He continues to spread the light of Christ in Indonesia both to the Filipino community and Indonesians.

After listening to his story, it came to my mind another great figure, Saint Augustine who was a sinner and passed through spiritual experience and later dedicated his life for God’ s Kingdom. At a certain moment, perhaps with a little “regret” Saint Augustine described his journey: “Too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient, O Beauty so new. Too late have I loved you! You were within me but I was outside myself, and there I sought you! In my weakness, I ran after the beauty of the things you have made.”

What we can conclude from the two spiritual experiences above is that an encounter with God let them understand that they are far, far less than God. This Sunday readings offers us the same message of our unworthiness before God. Filled with the vision of God’s glory, Isaiah confesses his unworthiness. “My eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts! But woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips” (Is 6:5). “Saint Paul describes himself as someone born abnormally. “For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.”

It is interesting as well to see the reaction of Simon Peter after he saw the abundance of blessings overwhelms his boat. Peter felt unworthy receiving God’s abundant grace. Out of gratitude he offers his prayer of repentance, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Deep gratitude makes us deeply repentant. People who are constantly grateful over blessings are often more readily repentant over their faults.

The encounter with the Lord leads Peter to be a fisher of men. God makes him worthy. “’Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’ When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.” Out of gratitude Simon Peter repents, follows and trust Jesus. Likewise, God makes clean the unclean lips of Isaiah to prophesy and the grace of God makes Paul worthy to an apostle.

God makes us worthy. At Mass we echo that famous Roman centurion: “Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my servant shall be healed.” Hopefully, after receiving the Body of Christ, we also hear Jesus’ encouraging words: Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people. “The Mass has been offered. Go in peace glorifying the Lord by your life.”