Suppose that you are asked " what is love? What would be your answer?"
Aside from interreligious dialogue and working with the youth of zone 4 in Saint Francis Xavier Parish (SFXP), I have simple additional apostolate such as visiting the sick and families mostly during weekends and other days when I am free or sometimes when I get bored of studying and reading.
Looking at the situation of the sick and families; listening to their stories, sometimes I felt pity and found myself helpless by realizing that I cannot do 'more' . When I am there with them, we pray indeed. Moreover, I believe when they pray they really trust themselves to God. However in my part, I sometimes wonder 'what more can I do ? Does the prayer enough to help them? Sometimes in my prayer, I ask God to help or at least to send them help, fulfill their needs and heal their sickness through others. I usually defend myself by saying "I do what I can do" perhaps just to wash my hands from doing more, from not to think more on the possibilities of helping them. Prayer is needed no doubt, but what more? In my opinion, prayer alone is not enough.
Once, I went to visit a sick who was an old person and suffered for years from complication, sickness, diabethic, cataract and so on. He was staying alone in his small 'house'. Although it was in the afternoon, he did not have his meal on that day. Since, I brought only the communion for him, after a short prayer, I gave him the body of Christ. I was not comfortable afterwards. I was disturbed by his condition. However, I did not have anything with me, not even money to buy a piece of bread for him to eat. I was about to take a step by knocking at the door of his neighbour to ask for food, but I was not courageous enough to do so. I was there sitting by his side speechless. From that experience ,I feel that my love (our love as human being) is limited. I wanted to do more, but I could not-for whatever reason. There, on that very moment, I realized the limitedness of love. I wanted to make a concrete step, but I couldn't. After awhile I stepped on his bed, folded some of his clothes which were scattered on his bed, yet still uttering no word. Then he looked at me and asked, “Bakit ginawa mo ito para sa akin?” (Why do you do this for me?). I did not answer to his question at that time, not even until the day of his death ( three weeks later ). It was not that I did not have the answer for his question, rather it was 'cold moment' in my part to find myself in a such inability to act effectively. Was love present there? I do not know.
When I was standing, looking at his body lying dried on the coffin, I recalled my beautiful experiences with him from the house until the Barangay (when we went to get the letter for his medical), and from the church until hospital. There, in front of his body, I remember his question which I have not answer him yet. Right there, in front of his body, I told him (though he did not hear me, but God did) my answer to your question: Bakit ginawa mo ito para sa akin?” (Why do you do this for me?) is because "I love you".
Thank you kuya for teaching me that my love is limited but not God’s love. Thank you for allowing me to love you, to share life with you. Thank you for making my vocation journey richer. Now that you are with God in heaven, pray for me to increase more my love and be able to embrace more people in any conditions. Nevertheless, still one thing I realize that my love is limited, but not His.
Before ending, let us go back to my opening question: Imagine someone asking you: "what is love for you? what would be the answer?" I have found my answered, I have define what love is due to my experience above. How about you? When you love, you will be amazed. Then LOVE and be the first one to love.
My reflection about visiting the sick is dedicated to late kuya Fredo
