In the process of growth, one cannot rely only on his innate skills in order to achieve what is necessary for his/her fulfillment. Rather, he/she needs the contribution of others. This is true for all the aspects of the human being: physical, moral, spiritual, etc. Regarding the spiritual aspect, we assert that God imprinted the desire of His will in each one of us. In his Confessions, Saint Augustine of Hippo helps us to understand this better, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” (Confessions I, 1). In our innermost part, there is a longing for this Supreme Being, as we seek to grasp what is beyond our human understanding. In this seeking, we need a guide in order for us to come to fully know and love God, and so to enjoy God’s offer of salvation. For instance, a child needs others to enlighten him/her, and help him/her enter in a good relationship with the Divine. Among others, grandparents are the important persons whose cooperation is crucial in this journey. In order for children to learn from their grandparents, two attitudes are of great importance. First of all, there’s a need to purify the image of oldness we have built up in our society. Second, children need to commit themselves to learning from their grandparents.
The purification of the image of oldness
In today’s society, the attitude of many people, especially the young ones, vis-à-vis the elderly is a sort of wound that the society needs to cure. Before, oldness was a stage of life which was attracting, taken as a blessing from God. The elderly were viewed in society as wise persons who teach the young ones how to build their better future. Sad to say, many people now look at oldness as a burden, even as a curse. Oldness has been looked at as an age of passivity and unproductiveness. In this score, old people are considered useless in society. One may hint what will ensue as a consequence if this negative view persists. The society is promoting degrading narcissism and egocentrism. People want to always look younger, stronger, and more beautiful; therefore, they are ready to spend a lot of money so as to keep themselves in a good posture. Worse, in some places around the world, young people have been taken away from the elderly with the idea that they have to keep in their minds a good image of life.
Such a situation urgently calls for a change of mind and attitude. Children need to look at the elderly not only with an attitude of respect but also with an attitude of openness to learn from them. Furthermore, they are called to be confident, knowing that the elderly cannot lead them astray. For this, the book of Sirach proposes a genuine attitude. “Do not slight the discourse of the sages, but busy yourself with their maxims; because from them you will learn discipline and how to serve princes. Do not ignore the discourse of the aged, for they themselves learned from their parents; from them you learn how to understand and to give an answer when the need arises.” Sir 8:8-9. In the same perspective, the wisdom of the Bashi people puts it in this: “Akanwa k'omushosi kaderha kahengusire, ci karhaderha cihengusire”. (cf. Emigani bali bantu N.182) “An old person speaks with a deformed mouth, but what he/she says is right. From the mouths of the elderly come wisdom and experience.”
The disposal to learn from the elders
The daily life of the elderly is like a painted board on which the children can learn how to strengthen their faith. The way they live their sacraments as special gifts received from God, a gift that keeps them in constant communion with the Lord, is a permanent interpellation for the children to follow a good way. Our Lola and Lolo, as we friendly call them in Filipino, live their faith in such a way that no duplicity is found in them. They are people for whom God is the absolute reference in whatever matter they face in their lives. When they pass through trying moments, they do not roam around looking for miracles, following the so-called prophets, or looking for any scapegoat to inculpate. They instead turn their gaze to the Lord and entrust everything to the only One who is their shield and protector.
Their faithfulness in accomplishing their Christian duty is of grand praise and amazement. They are genuine incarnation of the witnesses whom Pope Paul IV talked about in Evangelii Nuntiandi when he said that “for the Church, the first means of evangelization is the witness of an authentically Christian life, given over to God in a communion that nothing should destroy and at the same time given to one's neighbour with limitless zeal…Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses.” (Cf. Evangelii nuntiandi, #41)
True disciples and missionaries of Christ, do not keep the joy of the gospel for themselves. They always feel the need to bring Christ to others. On this, grandparents don’t hesitate to invite others, especially their grandchildren to join them during prayer, attending masses together, etc. In my place, they even give gifts to their grandchildren, not as a bribe, but with the aim to encourage them love God more. Whenever there is a grandchild who seems to be going astray from the good way, they are worried and do their best to bring him/her back to the right way. Somehow, we are all aware of the efforts they make to teach the kids how to get through the first steps of Christian life. Oftentimes, they are the ones to teach children how to make the sign of cross and to do other prayers, how to respectfully behave during different celebrations, how to receive communion, etc. Pope Francis points out this clearly in his apostolic letter on the liturgical formation of the people of God. He says: “I have in mind parents, or even more perhaps, grandparents, but also our pastors and catechists. Many of us learned the power of the gestures of the liturgy from them, as, for example, the sign of the cross, kneeling, the formulas of our faith. Perhaps we do not have an actual memory of such learning, but we can easily imagine the gesture of a larger hand taking the little hand of a child and accompanying it slowly in tracing across the body for the first time the sign of our salvation.” (Desiderio Desideravi, #47)
When they feel that the moment of their death approaches, they neither consider it as a tragedy nor a moment of despair. Instead, they willingly beg the Lord to call them sooner than possible, showing that they are joyfully ready to leave this world. This is an example of life lived in faith, hope and fidelity. Let us treasure the irreplaceable importance of our grandparents and other elderly, who do their best to help us enjoy the presence of God in our life.
