Is there goodness in our imperfections, wounds, brokenness, etc.? In our daily life, we always try to get rid of all the imperfection. The reason is simple we want to be perfect. The more we become perfect according to our standard, the better and holier we are. But the life of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, shows us a different side. His presence is questioned by Nathanael. “Can any good thing come from Nazareth?” Nazareth is insignificant for it is not in the tradition. The Messiah must come from Jerusalem, so what can we expect? There is nothing good and beautiful coming from there. But in fact, Jesus Christ who is human and divine was born in this very place. It means, there is goodness from this imperfect place, these wounded people. Even after his resurrection and ascension into heaven, He still has the wounds in his body.
In the last week of my Christmas and 2019 New Year vacation, I came across with a Japanese philosophy and spirituality which is wabi-sabi. It is amazing and turns upside-down my understanding of reality especially seeing beauty. It is about the beauty of imperfection, impermanence, ugliness, incompleteness. It appreciates things modest, simple, aged, and humble. It accepts wholeheartedly what it is and who we are. If western thinking about beauty is greatness, power, grandeur, majesty, and symmetry, but wabi-sabi is not so. It highly appreciates smallness, humility, simplicity, and asymmetry. It is a way of seeing and appreciating the beauty in unconventional view. This understanding reminds me of Christ's teaching which goes in the same line with wabi-sabi. In his ministry, He emphasized humility and called simple people. By his incarnation, He humbled himself as God to be human. The kingdom that He preached is compared with mustard seed, it is the smallest of all the seeds. Most of the time, we think or are accustomed to seeing goodness and beauty in extraordinary, majestic, triumphalist and costly things. However, we are not accustomed to seeing the goodness and holiness in ordinary and simple things or people and even in imperfect things or people.
In my personal experience and reflection, I came to the point that there is something great in our brokenness and wounds. Here, I don't mean to idealize or glorify our imperfections, but since we live in time and space, so we can't get rid of them. It is the way we are. Being creature means we are finite and limited. If in the past, we were told that our imperfection was the hell of ours and that was really bad news. Today, the good news is that our imperfections can lead us to holiness. How? Please, stop for a while and inhale.
First, we can create a communion with others through our wounds. In my journey of formation, I experience how my brokenness helps me to build communion with other people and even a 'stranger'. This happened through my openness and sharing with them my ups and downs of my life. They helped me in their ways to deal with my imperfection. I do believe that God is a presence within them to help me and creates communion among us. Asking help for our imperfections is a sign that we want to build communion with others and allow them to fulfill God's will in us. In short, let others do a charitable act in us. By doing so, we 'help' them also to become holy persons who do God's will upon us.
Second, many times we are asked to have compassion and mercy on others especially the needy. Some people find easy to do it, and that is a grace. Hence for some of us, it takes time and even we struggle with it. Relating it with our topic, I want to say that our brokenness can become a means to have mercy and compassion on others. How? The key is to ‘keep in touch' with our brokenness. If you experience failure, racism, car accident, learning a new language, being stranger/refuge, drug addict, etc., you will easily have compassion for these people. You know how she or he feels, the shame that she or he experiences, the dream and hope that she or he wants to achieve, etc. It will be easy for you to put yourselves in the shoes of others. This is how we become wounded-healer. We use our wounds as a means to serve others and as a source of hope for them (cf H. Nouwen). We can become holy by making use of our imperfection for the salvation of others. Alcoholics Anonymous is one group of former alcoholic people who try to save their fellowmen/women who suffer from alcoholism. They know how to help because once they have experienced it.
Third, "That's how the light gets in" (L. Cohen). It is difficult to rely on God when we are righteous about ourselves. We think that we are ok without anyone even God. We are in control. However, reality teaches us that we are not. Our imperfection makes us humble and recognizes that we are not better than others, and we are nothing without the help of God through others. Jesus says those who are not humble will be put down and those who humble themselves will be lifted up (cf Luke 14:11). Humility is the only key to receive God's grace. By acknowledging our shortcomings, little by little we open ourselves for the light. We rely on God, trust in Him, look for Him, for we can't journey our lives alone. We know that many people are recognized as saints because of their faith in God and their humility in their brokenness. It is a place that somehow leads us to the Light, God.
Finally, you and I know that it is not easy to live out this insight. It requires courage and faith. While writing this article, I had my exam on one subject and I failed terribly. I struggled with, reflecting and relating it with this topic, praying and finding a spiritual meaning behind it. I retook the exam and passed. Now, I know and how someone feels about experiencing failure. Being human means being limited yet we can transcend ourselves because the Spirit of God is within us. The spirit that empowers us to go beyond our borders.
If you can’t live out this insight, just remember that God knows and understands how to be human, to be like you. He listens faithfully and attentively to your groan, sees compassionately to your struggle, feels deeply the anguish and shame in you, smells the sweat of your fear, and tastes the bitterness of your situation. He is struggling with-in you and yet to find ways to help you. Jesus, the Savior, faced the same thing when He was on his journey from Gethsemane until Golgotha. However, remember that, what happens to you and me, does not exclude God's love for us. For "neither death nor life, no angel, no prince, nothing that exists, nothing still to come, not any power, or height or depth, nor any created thing, can ever separate us from the love of God made visible in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 8:38-39). Therefore, my dear, our wounds, and imperfections can't be a hindrance to God's love rather can become a means for us and others to build communion, experience God's grace and to become holy. That's the beauty and goodness of imperfection. Amen.
