In these 3 years and 8 months I have been in the Philippines, every time I think about my life, I go back to my years of preparation specifically the time of Novitiate (2016-2017) in Hortolândia city, São Paulo (Brazil). It was an atypical year because it challenged me to purify my image of “Novitiate” and I struggled to make a strong decision for what I am living now as a Xaverian Brother. The time of discernment and prayer gave me a strong foundation for my choice and continues to sustain my journey every day despite some “storms” encountered on the way. Since then, the great invitation for me has been “believe in me!” (cf. Jn 7:37-38). I am so amazed by the care and love of God that I am discovering and experiencing along these years of formation through studies, apostolate, daily events, and community life in a particular way. As a sign of gratitude for all these experiences and especially in this Xaverian Jubilee Year, I may appropriate my vocational Journey in these words of our founder St Guido M. Conforti: “The Lord could not have been more benevolent toward us!” (TL 1)
Certainly, life is not so smooth. Like everyone else, there are ups and downs in my life. In my specific case, while deepening the conviction of my answer to the Lord in the Xaverian Family, I have been concretely touched by the reality of being a Xaverian Brother among those who are preparing for the ministry of priesthood. Honestly, my answer is renewed every day through simple and small commitments that ordinary life requires. Last semester, in my class ‘History of Spirituality’, the teacher shared a thought attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi where at the end of his life, God asked him “Did you believe that I love you?” This insight made me realize that God continually addresses the same question to me, in different circumstances. Then, the main invitation is to surrender to Him, to His immeasurable love that has a concrete manifestation in my relationship nurtured with others. In this process of believing, my spiritual life also implies my human growth. Therefore, my consecration to God through the Religious Vows of Poverty, Chastity, obedience, and mission is not a magic act that makes me ready to live them spontaneously. Yet, it is an ongoing commitment to embrace a serious and challenging journey of becoming a genuine human person through discipleship.
In the hands of God, I consider myself as a wood or perhaps a stone that the artisan is shaping to express his beauty and love, starting in the place where I am now, with those whom I am sharing my life. I have done a strong community life experience, and I do not perceive myself outside of its environment. By nature of my vocation, I am called to be indeed a brother to and with others. As I am discovering in everyday life, God has given me great people to help me in this achievement. When I came to the Philippines, I did not have any certainty or security about how long I would remain or whether I would adapt to this new context. There was a mixture of good expectations and fear, but God put in my heart a big desire to come and live it. This was enough to assume the risk and to take the first step. As to Moses, God always says “I will be with you!” (Ex 3:12) Since 2017 up to now, it has been a time of perceiving with more clarity the answers from God regarding both my calling. I am happy with my vocation despite my limitations in believing in God’s love. This will be my lifelong conversion.
To conclude my sharing, I can say that my vocational journey is like a sketch of the art becoming more and more visible through the years. And I am grateful to God for this. May God grant me always the ability, courage, humility, and creativity to cooperate with His grace and serve his people. Every vocation in this world is an answer of God to someone's cry or to His people. Let us not forget this!
