"I just live my life. I go where I feel God is calling me" (Jurnee Smollet-Bell). Every story has a beginning. Mine starts in Dangcagan Bukidnon. I grew up in a small town where I learned the importance of family and tradition.
It all started when I was 11 years old. My parents always brought me to church, and my cousin was a server during that time. She asked me, “Do you want to be a server?” I answered Yes. Every Saturday, we went to church to undergo training. We pray the Holy Rosary, Taize prayer, and BEC as part of our formation. Our training lasts for two months, and officially I became a Servers of the Altar. My parents and I were so happy at that time. Every time I serve at mass, I always appreciate the Sotana of a priest. I was amazed at how beautiful it is. I also admired the time when a priest started the homily; I always imagined that one day in God’s grace, I will become a priest.
During my tenth grade, one of the seminarians from the Diocese came to our school to encourage us to join them, however, I did not care during that time. Furthermore, on the next day, a religious priest from the Camillians Congregation also came to our school to encourage us and it got my intention to join the Search In. Four of us went to Malaybalay to join the Search In. My companions were my classmates. We passed the exam and interview, and the congregation sent us a letter to prepare the requirements. One of the priests from the said congregation visited our house to check if I wanted to enter, and sadly my mother refused it. I was so sad at the time, but my mother told me that she was not ready yet. But my desire to enter seminary never faded.
My parents decided to transfer me to a Catholic School. Attending a Catholic School helped me to grow academically, in my faith, and as a person, giving me high moral standards. Nevertheless, the time comes Joselino Tulang invited us to join the Online Search In of Xaverian Missionary, and I told my parents that I wanted to become a religious, but they told me that it must be better if I must become a Diocesan. Honestly, I got confused about what to choose, between missionary or diocesan. When I passed the exam and interview in our diocese, my parents were very happy. They want me to enter diocesan than missionary life. I prayed to God and asked for a sign of what would be the best decision for me. Later, my parents agreed that they would support me if I wanted to choose to be a missionary. I grabbed the opportunity because I knew it was the sign that I was asking God. Only myself motivates me to choose to be a missionary. I chose missionary life because of my human desire. I want to travel the world, but when I arrived at the seminary, that human desire transformed into Divine desire. I realized that it is not only to travel the world but also to share the gospel to those non-Christians.
Many changes happened in my life, especially in my personality and even in different aspects. My prayer life has improved since I arrived here. Though I was a Sacristan and graduated from a Catholic School, my prayer life before was not that stable. I just prayed the rosary if it is required. When I pray, I always start by asking, and even sometimes I forgot to thank God. I can see how this community nourished my prayer life. They taught me that prayer is not just asking God for what we want, but it is a way to communicate with him. They also changed my view of community life. At first, I thought it was okay not to socialize with others but I was wrong, you cannot live without having a community. No man is an island. It is really a challenge for me since I am an introvert person. I don't usually socialize with others. With the help of our rector, also with formation, I can see slowly that there are changes in myself that are related to community life. Furthermore, I don't have self-confidence. I still remember when I was still a Parish Youth Leader, I could not speak in front of my co-youth. During our oath-taking, my friend laughed at me because my hand was shaking, and I couldn't control it. When I stood in front of the crowd, it felt like I was melting, and I couldn't control my body. When I entered the seminary, those weaknesses were still with me. Our rector slowly helped me to overcome that. As of now, I am happy that I am seeing the changes because I can now talk in front of people. I now have the confidence to lead, especially in my ministry, which is the Basic Ecclesial Community (BEC). Being here in formation helps me also to have a study habit. I didn't usually study my lessons before, maybe if there will be a quiz or exam and if it is required to study. But this formation helps me to focus on my study and not just on spirituality.
This community challenges me to develop spiritual, pastoral, human, and intellectual strands, which are essential in the formation of becoming a priest. As well as community worship, spirituality, and formal lessons. This community is the setting for the stillness, personal prayer, and meditation that enable me to be open to the working of the Holy Spirit.
