This month we celebrate the world day of the sick people. Parishes and Christians are in contact with the sick in manifold ways. From the very beginning of my apostolate in the Philippines, I have been in contact with the sick people. Aside from the other various endeavors of a Xaverian seminarian, I have been ministering to the sick and elderly for almost three years by sharing with them the word of God and the Holy Communion. Since August 2018, I have intensified this activity mostly because this year is for me a time for pastoral immersion. Henceforth, my reflection here is the fruit of an observation meant, not to give the details of how I do my apostolate but, to point out the discoveries and learning from the sick and elderly people. The discoveries are mostly the needs of sick people and how they express them. Whereas the learnings, which are by the way, “learnings by doing” processes, focus on the tasks or spiritual responses.
The first is the need for belongingness and being loved. One of the first stories I have heard from these people is about their commitment to the church when they were still healthier and younger. This is successively followed by the stories about their loved ones whether alive or passed away. You will, therefore, realize that these people are in need of relationship though whoever their circle of relationship have been reduced to the one or two caregivers. As they testify themselves: they are blessed if they still meet a companion who can offer them spiritual assistance. Because as Pope Francis says: “they are looking for someone willing to grant them time, to listen to their dramas and difficulties”.
A pastoral and spiritual response to this need can be to ensure that the presence of the minister can balance the feeling of unworthiness of the sick and elderly though it cannot completely quench that need. It also has to give the necessary time of listening, a time for the “apostolate of the ear” i.e. listening with patience, talk and “above all, tell to the people that God loves them”. Moreover, in telling their stories, some memories would always recall their wounds and brokenness. Sometimes I need to say a word of encouragement, other time not many words are needed. However, to highlight the honesty of the person who is sharing is an important element in the healing process.
The second need you can easily detect in dealing with the sick and elderly people is an impaired autonomy. Being dressed, fed and even helped to do the basic needs of a human person is discomforting and shortens their autonomy and freedom. At this moment their choices and likes are compromised since there are being made by others. The lack of freedom and autonomy is so discomforting and sometimes embarrassing that it leads to lose hope. It’s because of this need that many despair up to the point where they say “I want to die”. Why? “I make others suffer because of me”. Journeying with someone who has reached this stage will call you to a spiritual task of learning to wait. First, try to wait for the services of others and be grateful for it. Then learn to wait for God’s good time. God has his own time and “His time is the best.”
Just as they need relationship and autonomy, the sick and elderly still express they need for enjoyment and delight. You will find them still wanting to watch TV, to play with the “Apo” or with the caregiver. They tell stories about their artistic tastes and hobbies of the past, but since aging and sickness have weakened their senses and physical mobility this need remains unsatisfied.
Another need is that of human fulfillment. The sick people as well as the elderly, like any human being, still want to find the meaning and purpose of their lives. Some ultimate questions (why do I suffer? When is the end of my suffering? Is there no way out?) seem to remain unsolved. A pastoral endeavor takes to its shoulder the responsibility of journeying together through the mysteries of life assuring the sick that God is not the source of evil but of all goodness. This helps to put more trust in the Lord despite all things that “just happen”.
Trying to respond to those needs of the sick and elderly is a great school, a school where the only subject is life; a school where the main teacher remains the Holy Spirit. That is why every time I try to figure out how to respond to their needs, it is always good to look for support from the Gospel, the words and Jesus himself to the little ones. On one hand, much are the inputs that come to my personal, spiritual, and moral life every time I prepare the short paragraph about the Gospel of the day in Tagalog. On the other hand, much more are the learnings when it comes to listening to their sharing and spontaneous words of gratitude. With these people, we never stop learning. We learn from their wisdom that comes from the many years of experience, we learn the spirit of self-acceptance recognizing God’s love and presence within us. We learn to wait with patience on His right time. We learn the way of goodness and holiness.
