"I love working with youth," I said this when I had to introduce myself to my new youth group of the parish. It is a kind of personal moto that better fits or sums up my feelings and experiences after having worked for a half-decade -or more- in the youth field. Since the beginning of my ministry with the youth, I rarely played the role model of a leader. I remember that my first assignment was in an area of the parish wherein I was told it is important to simply accompany the youth without being the leader or the CEO of the group.
On the one hand, this kind of approach looks unproductive. One can easily think if I am just a simple participant, of what value am I? However, diving into this approach, putting it into practice, I realized that we are not less productive by journeying side by side and mingling with the youth. Rather, we give room to more casual interactions, down-to-the earth connections and the result is that there is no fear to approach one another and even to share some important matters. Because of this proximity I was for example called 'Kuya or bro' or simply by my nickname without a title. This is, therefore, the best way when it comes to “knowing and living the smell of the sheep”.
On the other hand, however, this practice does not work in any circumstances or anywhere. Since the first day I attended a meeting of the youth, I sensed the difference: a brother has a little higher consideration. There is even the tendency to greet him with “mano po” (ask blessing in Tagalog). In a bigger group, a brother may seem to be the one who gathers the community. Is it because of the phenomenon of barkada (a group of peers)? If it is so, then he would be expected to be kabarkada of all the different barkada of the big group with zero tolerance for partiality. My impression is that coming together as Filipino youth requires a personal relationship with every member of the group. I even noticed some refusing to join the group if there is another member with whom they have conflict, even for small misunderstandings. This make us see that the horizontal relationship (between members themselves) precedes the vertical relationship with God. It is therefore important to keep an eye both on the group as a community and on every individual. Looking at the community you may act according to their expectations, as a facilitator; and looking at every individual, you are just a friend on the same journey, befriending every single youth. On this basis, I assess myself. But how?
Once I was involved in a youth group that did not manage to keep up with the ministry. They were no longer able to come together. Everything was “breaking down” despite all the effort of the leaders. But one day a notification popped up in my Facebook carrying a post with two statements painted on an uneasy colored background: “Beauty is a curse in disguise”. “I despise my life”. I thought maybe it was due to some issues in the group. Being a bit close to the person, I managed to chat with her and eventually called her. When I asked what was going on, it is the common answer that came out first: “it’s okay bro. Never mind”. We turned the page, we talked about other things but before ending the call I heard: “thank you for calling”. I was surprised. As if I was joking, I asked: Why then do you thank me? Then she started sharing with me about all the issues and persecutions she was going through and which she could no longer endure. And that, my call came in the moment she thought the post would be the last of her life. That call she hesitated to pick up actually made space and time for her to think twice. We continued talking a little bit and planed for an eventual meeting. I was a bit troubled at night, thinking about her situation and begging God to be merciful, and that she may be more enlightened. I thought praying for her was better than flexing her with some motivational quotes from the media. That is why I made a special prayer intention for her during masses. When we had the opportunity to meet, her joy told it all. I could not stop her from thanking me and praising God in all the languages she could. It was like a celebration of a new life.
Then, how should I assess myself? I always have a plan (monthly, semesterly, annually). There are guidelines for ministry from a higher level, that some are personal pastoral principles or some sort of “pastoral methods”; … Yes, they play their roles and they are fitting only if they leave room to love, care, mercy and compassion expressed in responding to emergent situations, responding to the real and contextual need of the mission. Or simply put, they will work if they are able respond to the question: what would Jesus do in my situation? Every single move with the youth counts whether with the group as a whole or with a particular member. And I think it is even so for every idleness or silence in front of a concrete situation. It does not mean to bring perfect solutions for everyone or to keep the group united forever, without issues to handle. Instead, struggles are what make the journey with the youth amazing, challenging and even more an opportunity for change and growth in a way that, at the end of the day, everyone would say: I love working with the youth.
